a response to setting goals

Friday, July 10, 2009

I know the summer isn't over yet, but both of my goals have already gone bust-- in that, they didn't work out the way I thought they would. They may have just turned out better.

For weeks in my head I have been writing a post about my 40 day yoga transformation experience. It's taken all kinds of different forms. First, I was going to write an angry post about how the yoga book we read alongside the challenge blatantly plagiarized Scripture by lifting chunks of it out of context and using it for the means of making yoga a religion that Christians should buy into. i.e. The first law of yoga according to Baron Baptiste is "Be Still and Know." But it's missing "That I am God!" Instead, we are to be still and know our inner selves. How hopeless! There is no stillness when I look inside my fleshly self. Instead, there is confusion, frustration, failure to follow through, sin, and total insufficiency. But, when I am still and know that God is who He says He is (I AM that I AM) then I can see myself in the form he made me to be-- spiritual and growing, beautiful and clothed in Christ's righteousness rather than being judged on my own merit. You can tell that I'm obviously passionate about this. But, a whole blog of that (there are 12 laws in which I would love to point out the truth behind the Scripture) might have just done you (and me) in.

I'd rather talk about what yoga has given me. As you may remember, I was going for this side-crow pose in addition to many, many things: self-discipline, peace, strength, losing a few pounds, and opportunities to share about the Lord. Think I was asking too much from a 40 day transformation experience? You would be right.

I hit a brick wall about it last week-- well, more like a deep, depressing valley. I have not been extremely self-disciplined. I have not found peace. I know I'm stronger because I can get into the poses, but I can't see that toning in my body. I have not lost a single pound. And. I have not had opportunities to share my faith.

Praise God, He is not through with me. I've been reading through the study No Other (g)ods. Kelly Minter describes her surprise at seeing an old Egyptian idol-- a skinny cat that holds the wisdom of life in its hands. How could people bow down to a gold skinny cat and expect to find wisdom of life?! Oh Megs. I have been doing just that. I have been bowing down to yoga, expecting to find all of these things. They do not come from a practice. They come from intimacy with Christ. I have sought these gifts from the Lord more than the Lord himself, and I have sought them on my own terms expecting my own will power to bring them into my life. Why did I put my hope in something that cannot, absolutely positively cannot offer what I need? How different would it be if I would seek first God, his kingdom and his righteousness and then all else will be given to me. Because all else will be incomparable and unimportant in light of knowing Christ. Such a simple lesson, and yet it's never hit me before.

As a side note, the homemade bread thing didn't work out either. But that goal's unimportant. I have plenty of family, Hackmans and Podawiltzs, that make some mean homemade bread. I'll just be a mooch :) And there is freedom in that as well.